To All the Boyz

When I was younger 

there was a boy

he was worthy 

and kind

one day, "unexpected"

God told him not to love me

he listened 

and so did i

now, years later

sometimes I wake up wondering

if I proved Him right 

______________________________


My brain wasn't fully developed

did you know that happens at 25

7 years shy for me

2 for him

when he said goodbye

the part of my brain

that didn't exist yet

moved on quietly

it didn't scream

it didn't drive to his house in the middle of the night

it didn't put angry scars on her arms,

(for attention, they told me)

it didn't get mad at God for the unanswered prayers

it just 

moved on quietly

and she was so attractive for it

______________________________________


When we think of him

we smile

God and me 

we loved him 

and he was told to love us 

but sometimes love

is not acceptance 

sometime love 

isn't enough

I worry when he thinks of us

God and me

he doesn't smile 

not really

would we have really loved him

God and me

if we really knew him then

I'm afraid to look

But I can say

12 years later

(God, has it really been that long?)

Me and God have come a long way


_________________________________________


I've loved all kinds of eyes

green, blue, and brown 

they've looked at me and seen

all kinds of things

all kinds of ages

and stages

they happen to be blue

light and bright teal

with a rim of yellow gold

the only ones I've ever looked at

and seen me

all of me

every thing

every stage

so beautiful I am

in those eyes

but when we mixed my intricate brown

and his bright teal,

the world got two new shades

one light and bright

one dark and intricate

the most beautiful colors

the only colors

I've ever seen



















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